Mask

Greetings everyone, how are you feeling? I pray all is well with you. For me, I will rate myself 8 out of 10. It is some burdens that I am still working on instead of me holding it all in I release every thought, every burden to my brother Jesus. I meditated as well. The Holy Spirit led me to talk about masks in today's discussion.  To be transparent, I was to talk about this as a feature on a podcast. The person decided not to go through with it so here we are. That is fine with me because either way it goes, I am going to still talk about it. every single one of us wears a mask. There are different kinds of masks some are as a shield and protection. Others wear it so they won't have to be vulnerable they can pretend for that day or week. I would like for you to be honest with yourself Are you wearing a mask and why? Imagine with me that I am in the room with Oprah or Michelle Obama, and they are asking me these questions. I am going to discuss the masks that I wear and why it is going to be a Q&A I feel comfortable putting it out there. I love being honest and transparent so here it goes: Are you wearing a mask? I have different kinds of masks that I wear. Why? I wear different kinds of masks because I am afraid to see the kind of person I will become, embracing the changes that come with wholeness and growth. I am afraid to be my true authentic self around certain people. I use them as a defense mechanism. What kind of masks do you wear? I have a stronghold addiction to lust, seeking attention, and sex. That occurs when I experience loneliness and when I know that I am changing. Especially around the holiday season when I am always alone every holiday. When I am looking for validation and comfort. Instead of knowing that I am loved, cherished, and made in God's image of his daughter. When I am trying my best, and I don't see results I lose hope, and patience so I will go back to what I am comfortable and familiar with. I know that I am unique, and different so sometimes I will try to fit in. I will do things like buy affection, buy friendship to keep them around so I won't be alone. Every person that I have encountered smoke and drink so I will start picking up those things as a habit to keep them around. I only drink wine so I was really just hurting myself. I will pour all of myself into them, their dreams instead of my dreams and goals. I remember growing up I was really jealous of my sister even in my adulthood as well. My sister is very beautiful, and I am just me. I got picked on growing up, and older about my forehead. I am still a little insecure about it. I tried to wear makeup, and wigs just to cover it up. I will bring guys around my place they will see her photo and say things like Your sister is beautiful, and thick you should wear heels, and get your hair done like her because my hair is natural. When I am in Zoom meetings, I will turn my camera off because I don't feel like I am pretty enough and smart enough. How long have you been wearing these masks? That is a good question since I was 18 years old. So that is a very long journey of pretending to be something that I am not. Do you ever plan to take off your mask? I am in the process of taking off my mask. I know that it is a journey road ahead I have to keep going, and not give up. Have you taken any steps to be able to remove your mask and what tools did you use? The tools that I have used to start peeling off my mask are spending intentional time with the Kingdom of Heaven, going to therapy, taking different kinds of healing classes, writing in my journals, and blogging. What caused you to decide you need to wear a mask? insecurities, feelings, past mistakes, fear, discouragement, rejection, lack of love, abandonment. I did it I was vulnerable have a great day. Until next time Chosen Princess