Support

 Hello kings, and queens! How is everyone doing today? I pray all is well with you. I will rate myself a 6 out of 10 for my mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions are all over the place. Today I decided to talk about support. Spirit of the true living one I pray that you will use me as a living vessel. Use my mind, my mouth with the words to say. I pray that this blog post will reach the people who are feeling down, depressed, and anxious. I pray that my story will inspire and uplift them in such a way that it will touch them to know that they are not alone. I would like your feedback and advice on what it means to have support, and who is your biggest support? When it comes to me, I have a little support system which causes me depression, anxiety, isolation, and loneliness. Granted I know that I have self-sabotage friendships, and family because of things in the past, anger, and trust issues I take full responsibility for it. You can go back to the blog post-self-sabotage to read up more on it. In some cases, it is really not my fault. According to an article I was reading, there are four types of support. You have Emotional Support, Esteem Support, Informational Support, and Tangible Support. I have my Father God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. When it comes to people, I can say a few it is a very small circle that I have. I have a relationship with God I struggle with his love, compassion, kindness support because of the rejection, and abandonment I experienced growing up, and trust issues with people. I view God sometimes as the people who have walked out of my life, I will say to him that I am not worthy enough, and I shouldn't be loved by him. I will have a talk to myself to reassure myself that God never left me he is always there as my biggest emotional support I can talk to him about anything, he sees the good, the bad, the ugly, and the things that I am still working on. I will pray, meditate, and say affirmations to motivate myself. Who motivates you, is it a struggle? I have two people that I can call friends one of them is living in Florida where I am from whom I have known for years, and the other one I met online at a church that I attend virtual shout out to Transformation Church. I have this other friend I am not so sure yet don't get me wrong I like the work that he is doing for the youth, but I don't like the way that he talks to me. Don't get me wrong I like to hear the truth about myself, and the things that I need to work on. It is a way you can express it but how you express it to me in a negative way, putting me down just because you have it together, and I am not quite there. I haven't made the decision yet if I want to keep him as a friend because he is helping me with the book as well, I do know I need space away from my mental state. I am very grateful and thankful for what he has done for me, supporting my dreams. I am thankful for all of my friends even the ones who are no longer my friends.   My esteem support is my life coach she is my accountability partner, and she encourages me. I have my therapist as well I am grateful for both of them. I want more than emotional, esteem support I want to have a family. I am not talking about a family that has the same blood. I am speaking on support who you can actually call family.  People whose actions show that they really care a one-minute text just to say hi just checking in on you, phone calls for advice, and when you are feeling down who can uplift you even when they are dealing with their own issues, praying for you, hugs, pushes you out of your comfort zone, accountability partner, connect and share with resources, won't walk out of your life just because of a disagreement, think you don't have it together, won't judge you, put you down,  etc. Go to your drawing board, sit there, and examine who is your support groups, ask the hard questions like why do I choose this person, do they deserve to be in my life, what did I do wrong for that person to walk out of my life, how can I support them, be a service to them, a friend back? What things do I need to work on? There is nothing wrong with that I ask myself those same questions all the time. Feel free to leave a comment, just know that you are not alone I know that I don't know you, but I support you, and your dreams. Have a wonderful day. Love always Chosen Princess.